Quotes by random people no one has heard of

Michael Wiley

"If your opinion were to manifest itself into a living, breathing being, and I were to watch it fall down a rocky cliff, dying a horrible, painful death. I would shrug and say, meh, it was a dumb opinion anyway."

"Well, did you eat Jesus, or didn't you? 'of course I did!' It was a test, you failed. Congratulations, you're going to hell."

"If you say something loud enough, for a long enough period of time, that makes you right. Anyone that disagrees is a terrorist lover and/or an actual terrorist."

"I'd pick that up for you, but I'm an asshole."

"The only reason I'm still standing, is that I haven't found a chair"

"Sometimes you have to get naked...before you can get clean"

Jaime Martinez

"See a lesser man would be destroyed if a hampster died in his hand. Me, I just cried like a little girl."

"Life is like ice cream cake. Cake being that it already sucks, then trying to cover it up with something sweet. You aint foolin me life!"

"Aren't you glad we are taking oceanography? I mean, if there was a tsunami, we'd be the first to know it. Granted we live in riverside, a desolate wasteland, a desert even, no where near a coast or body of water for that matter. Still..."

"It's really not hard to spot when the picture is blown up like a person at Hometown Buffet. God, that place is horrible."

W. C. Fields

"Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water."

Tatyana Alexandroff

"I question society when a person is convinced that telling me they see themselves in my pants via a myspace message is an effective form of communication."

"I would never set my profile to private, I'm not a celebrity. It's the internet and if your myspace is that sacred, you should re-access your entire existence."

Carmy

"So many starving in China, all we wanted was food from the dina'"

"Please don't breed." (in reference to me, bitch)

Random Internet Girl

"Don't let the milky nipple ruin your reply! Use it as inspiration! *sigh* It is too late, I believe you've already been defeated by dairy."